"Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom." ~ Viktor Frankl
Life is 10 percent of what happens to us and 90 percent of how we react. The "10 percent" we are experiencing now is extreme; therefore, it's more important than ever to be mindful of the "90 percent." You've heard this before. Intuitively, you know this. But how does one actually practice it? And how can one practice it effectively during extreme times, such as the current COVID-19 outbreak and its ensuing chaos and stress?
Put another way, stress is among the top controllable health risks; it attacks our immune system. Reducing stress not only makes your life better, it can save your life, especially now that a strong immune response is incredibly important, to say the least.
For help in mastering the "90 percent," I'll enlist help from 2500 years of philosophy. So, in no particular order, here are timeless ways to reduce stress and to find peace, meaning, and purpose now (or at any time in your life):
Attach Meaning to Suffering
"In some way, suffering ceases to be suffering at the moment it finds a meaning, such as the meaning of a sacrifice." ~ Viktor Frankl
Psychotherapist and author of the epic book, Mans' Search for Meaning, Viktor Frankl survived the holocaust. While in the concentration camps, he made notes on how he and others lived through horrific conditions. What's the common thread he found among the survivors? They had a meaning to live for. And tragically, he noticed that those who had lost all meaning, would be the next to die. Speaking for himself, he envisioned a reunion with his wife and he saw himself using his notes to share with his psychotherapy patients (and eventually the millions that have read his book).
Frankl believed that suffering, in and of itself, is meaningless; we give our suffering meaning by the way in which we respond to it. He saw three possible sources of meaning: 1) In work (doing something significant), 2) In love (caring for another person), and 3) In courage during difficult times. Frankl often refers to Friedrich Nietzsche's words: "He who has a Why to live for can bear almost any How."
Apply these lessons today: What if the COVID-19 pandemic is the greatest learning opportunity of your entire life? Did you get to spend more time with people you love during the stay-at-home order? Did you discover that the problems you once had were really not as terrible as you once imagined? How can you make meaning from your suffering now?
Be Comfortable Not Knowing
"Those who have knowledge, don't predict. Those who predict, don't have knowledge." Lau Tzu
The human brain seeks knowledge and certainty. If it can't find certainty, it looks for patterns and fills in the missing gaps with possibility. You can't stop it from doing this. But you can stop yourself from making predictions about the patterns.
Just because you can't see something doesn't mean it's not there. This applies to the best and worst of outcomes. Two months ago, you wouldn't have imagined what is happening now. Today, you can't imagine an end to what is happening now. You weren't right two months ago. What makes you think you're right now? This will end and it will likely end better and sooner than you think...
Turn Off the News
Only in quiet waters things mirror themselves undistorted. Only in a quiet mind is adequate perception of the world." ~ Hans Margolius
You've heard the saying, "You are what you eat." But what about information? You consume information every day. Your mind can't help but becoming what it consumes. If you consume disturbing, stressful information, you'll be disturbed and stressed. The more of this you consume, the worse off you'll be.
Also, keep in mind that "the news" is not a reflection of reality; it's an entity that lives by selling advertising. To sell advertising, it must capture attention. To capture attention, it must provoke its intended audience. To provoke it's intended audience, it uses the most provocative images and words. The most provocative images and words will evoke anxiety, fear, anger, or lust.
Give your mind and your overall well-being a break and limit your exposure to news. Try to search for facts and ignore opinions. Allow yourself to be distracted by humor. See that the world is not coming to an end.
Take a Walk
"I went to the woods because I wished to live deliberately, to front only the essential facts of life, and see if I could not learn what it had to teach, and not, when I came to die, discover I had not lived." ~ Henry David Thoreau
The human brain has changed very little over the past 10,000 years. But the world has changed dramatically. Imagine a pre-historic human that is taken away from her natural environment and then placed on a street corner in a busy city, where there are countless people rushing around, cars speeding by, horns honking, exhaust fumes choking the lungs, neon signs flashing, and so on. Can you imagine her stress? That's what your 10,000-year old brain goes through almost every day.
But take yourself out of the unnatural world; step into the natural one; then you'll see and feel instant relief. If you don't have access to anything natural, find a quiet place in your house. Maybe there's a window. Open it. Find a bird or squirrel and watch it. Spend time with your pet. If you have none of these, watch a nature documentary on television.
Pray Ceaselessly
"Meditation is not something that you do. Meditation is a movement into the whole question of our living: how we live, how we behave, whether we have fears, anxieties, sorrows; whether we are everlastingly pursuing pleasure; and whether we have built images about ourselves and about others. This is all part of our life, and in the understanding of that life and the various issues involved in life, and actually being free from them, we inquire into meditation." ~ Jiddu Krishnamurti
One of the commonalities of all religions and spiritual practices, from Buddhism, to Christianity, to Islam, to Taoism, to Hindu, to the native Americans, is to "pray without ceasing" or "be mindful" or "be thankful in all circumstances." This doesn't have to mean spending the day on your knees, head bowed, and hands folded together. Remain aware of your thoughts and actions; be thankful; fill your mind with positive thoughts; read a book; find time to be quiet, to be still, to empty your mind of the clutter and chaos.
Even when you are busy, you can remain firmly in the present moment, which is a never-ending reflection on every experience in life as it occurs, not just in a quiet room or in church on Sundays. Once you are able to discover and strengthen your meditative mind, you can find success and joy in all areas of life. This is because the longing for the past and anxiety over the future is limited or removed. You are present to yourself and to the people you love.
Be well, my friends.
Kent Thune is a philosopher who happens to be a Certified Financial Planner (TM) and owner of Atlantic Capital Investments, LLC, a registered investment advisory firm located in Hilton Head Island, SC. Mr. Thune is also a freelance writer published on multiple investing and finance websites, including MarketWatch, Yahoo Finance, Kiplinger.com, InvestorPlace.com, The Balance, and The Motley Fool.
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