Sound Financial Advice: Don't Identify With 'Things'

"One of the most basic levels of identification is with things: My toy later becomes my car, my house, my clothes, and so on. I try to find myself in things but never quite make it and end up losing myself in them." ~ Eckhart Tolle, A New Earth: Awakening to Your Life's Purpose

To extend upon our recent discussions of life, death and the ill-fated, ego-centric human obsession with things, I thought it valuable to add a few more thoughts on the perils of materiality.

Even if you are not a parent, you may recall or intuitively understand this simple progression of attaching and identifying with things outside of the self:

• A baby identifies itself as one with the mother:  Think of separation anxiety.  For most babies, it takes a few years to realize, "I am a separate being; I am not my mother."  Until this realization takes place a baby can get extremely distraught when separated from its mother.
• A young child identifies with toys:  Starting at the "terrible twos" one of the first words a young child learns is "mine."  The child identifies herself with toys.  Try taking a toy away from a two-year old.  The result is often screams of protest.  The child actually feels as if you are taking a part of her away.
• The adolescent and young adult identifies with things:  My clothes, my iPod, my iPad, my car, my house, my money.  The self-worth is interchangable and indistinguishable from the financial worth.  If I have things, if I have money (or at least if I can make people believe I have them) I have created the image that "I am good" to others.  By virtue of having (or at least showing) monetary and material wealth, one's social status is raised.

Displaying wealth and identifying with material objects is as old as humanity.  Yesterday, I was helping my 9-year old son study for a Social Studies test covering native Americans in the Northwest Pacific region of the United States.  A common custom of the region's people, dating back hundreds of years, was a celebration called a Potlatch, where a host demonstrates their wealth and prominence through giving away goods.  While one might consider the Potlatch a demonstration of generosity, there is little doubt that the Potlatch result, and therefore the host's underlying motivation, was to raise social status by displaying wealth.

"Have more than thou showest, speak less than thou knowest." ~ William Shakespeare

Demonstrating wealth is a manifestation of identifying with things outside of the self.  Certainly, having things and displaying them can put forth to others the illusion of success, which can lead to greater social status.  The risk with this behavior, however, is that the identification of self with things, and the more this behavior continues, the false rewards of greater monetary, materiality and social wealth have the cumulitive effect of burying the authentic self with layer upon layer of junk and stuff.

In a similar sense, although a topic for another post, the displaying of knowledge can be false and ego-centric.  "Look at me, I have knowledge" is not different than "Look at me, I have a shiny new car."  Both are pretentious and serve the wants of ego.

"I love to go and see all the things I am happy without." ~ Socrates

As I have said before, there is inherently nothing wrong with wanting more things.  Where people lose themselves is in the perpetuation of a carrot-chasing, rat-racing mentality that is the pursuit of happiness, absent of contentment.

Do not seek more until you can be happy with what you have now.  You'll save yourself, your money, and your sanity.

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Rat Race Image by Polyp

Related Posts:

How Ego Hurts You (And How to Overcome It)

The Knowing-Doing Gap

Mind vs Brain Part I: We Are Only Human

Comments

[Thanks]

Great post. Great words.

"Look at me, I have knowledge" is not different than "Look at me, I have a shiny new car." Both are pretentious and serve the wants of ego."

It´s true. And both are not only ridiculous manifestations of the ego. Also are esthetically horrible. If you have knowledge, use it, don´t show it. I have that defect and I try to smooth it.

"Where people lose themselves is in the perpetuation of a carrot-chasing, rat-racing mentality that is the pursuit of happiness"

I´m partially happy to see my business fail at the beginning. Cause failure showed me how people is in that insane rat race. Also failure taught me to focus the real meaning of success, and if you permit express myself, this is it:

Have joy, esencially with your wife and sons, I mean your closest family. Have a joy independient from the external world. And if you have that joy, then you can play with objects, with money, with the social status and all that things inherents to this world, but always keeping in mind that joy is your success and the other is just a game.

About "our conversation" in the post before this one, I must say that talk and think about it has helped me to go faster in accept some ideas I have been thinking sometime.

So, thank you and let me say I´m very happy to read this site.

[Kent @ The Financial Philosopher]

Thanks:

I like this that you said: "Have a joy independent from the external world. And if you have that joy, then you can play with objects, with money, with the social status and all the things inherent to this world, but always keeping in mind that joy is your success and the other is just a game."

I couldn't have said it better!

Cheers...

Kent

[Jeffrey Dow Jones]

Really thought-provoking post.

I think it's neat that you mentioned the Potlatch. I was in Alaska last summer and learned about that at an anthropologist's lecture. It's fascinating. Potlatching was literally THE single highest social status thing you could do. It's odd for the rest of us -- who are hung up on amassing assets instead -- to wrap our heads around the concept.

What's also interesting is that it served a dual purpose as a social welfare system. It was a very efficient and acceptable way of redistributing wealth from the rich to the poor and helped their society thrive collectively.

It's cool that your son is learning about that. Some of those Pacific Northwest native cultures are really intriguing.

[Kent @ The Financial Philosopher]

JDJ:

Thanks for the generous compliment and for sharing your thoughts...

Yes, the Potlatch was both a social status event and a re-distribution of wealth affair during back in the Pacific Northwest Indian days. Perhaps it is akin to wealthy celebrities today using charitable contributions as public relations tools?

If you believe Wikipedia is fact, it says that the Potlach meaning evolved into the American meaning of "Potluck" Party where people bring things to exchange.

As you might imagine, I like to inject my philosophies of contentment with my sons whenever I run across such lessons.

For the record, I did not tell my 9-year old that Potlach celebrations were either bad or good -- I just subtly reminded him that displaying wealth is not necessary and that being "wealthy" is not necessarily a financial term.

Thanks again...

Kent

[Paul from Silver Coast Finest]

Nice photo..Hehehe Hmm interesting article, Keep it up..

[Kent @ The Financial Philosopher]

Thank for the comment Paul! Cheers...