Are you living each day or are you merely surviving it? Do you have a meaningful and purposeful life or do you have just an existence?
One of my favorite movies is Shawshank Redemption. My wife's father recently passed away and the movie was also one of his favorites, which is why the movie and its philosophies are more on my mind than usual.
One of my favorite lines from the movie is "Get busy livin' or get busy dyin'." The line comes from a scene where Andy Dufresne (Tim Robbins) and Ellis Boyd "Red" Redding, both prisoners with life sentences, discuss their existence in Shawshank prison. Andy is hopeful that he will be free again; and he lives for the day when he will live in Zihautanejo, a Mexican-Pacific coastal town. Red is resigned to the notion that he will live the rest of his life in prison; therefore he feels it is futile to hope (or live for) a day that will probably never come; he will find a way to make the best of his life in prison.
Shawshank prison, in my view, is a metaphor for life: Most people tend to go through life in a self-created prison; an existence defined by birth, school, work, death; an existence that is one of surviving, not living; an existence enclosed by the fear of change; and an existence that follows the paved road of social conventions.
"We say that the hour of death cannot be forecast, but when we say this we imagine that hour as placed in an obscure and distant future. It never occurs to us that it has any connection with the day already begun or that death could arrive this same afternoon, this afternoon which is so certain and which has every hour filled in advance." ~ Marcel Proust
So how does one start living (and stop dying)? Ultimately, only you can answer this question; however, I will be happy to provide some general guidance:
- Imagine you will live in good health for five years and die suddenly. What might you change about your life now? What if you died today? What did you miss? What will people say about you at your funeral?
- Stop saying, "I can always do this later."
- Stop thinking you will live a long life.
- Stop living for money.
- Live for meaning and let the money follow it.
- Realize that the present moment is where you will always be: Living in the past or living for the future spoils today.
- Often ask yourself two questions, "Who am I?" and "Why do I live?" and do your best to answer the questions (or come closer every day to the answers).
It's time to get busy livin' or get busy dyin'...
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Related:
Hi Kent. I always enjoy reading your posts. As a middle-aged man with a family and all of the responsibilities that come with that, I've struggled for years with this. I find it impossible to choose between money and fulfillment at work. Money always wins out; I have not been able to step off the edge and stop living for money in hopes that money will follow what I think is meaningful. I know what I don't want to do; I can't answer the question of what do I want to do and still make enough money to satisfy my needs and obligations.
I recently found an enjoyable book by Dorothea Brande written in the 30's called "Wake Up and Live". She quotes Marcus Aurelius who said "stop acting like you're going to live 1000 years." It's a riveting read with practical recommendations. It is available here http://www.scribd.com/doc/4710154/Dorothea-Brande-Wake-Up-and-Live
Posted by: Eric Willson | September 16, 2010 at 09:14 PM
Hey Eric. It's nice to hear from you.
As a "family man" you already have meaning and purpose in your life!
It is possible to be fulfilled even if your "day job" is not meaningful. Your focus then becomes one of finding the right balance between work and life.
Furthermore, meaning does not put food on the table. It sounds as if your process of discovery (finding what you want by clarifying what you don't want) is what works best for you now.
If you focus too hard on what you are missing, you may end up missing what is happening now. The search for meaning can sometimes paradoxically cause you to miss meaning that is right in front of you.
Just be sure to enjoy the journey...
"What is important in life is life, and not the result of life." ~ Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
Posted by: Kent @ The Financial Philosopher | September 16, 2010 at 10:07 PM
Excellent post Kent! I absolutely love your quote, "Most people tend to go through life in a self-created prison." Unfortunately I don't think most people ever escape. It sounds like your father-in-law spent his life "livin" outside of a self-imposed prison.
My condolences go out to you and your family.
-Greg
Posted by: Greg Linster | September 17, 2010 at 12:38 PM
Thanks Greg...
Posted by: Kent @ The Financial Philosopher | September 20, 2010 at 10:11 PM
Houses are not cheap and not every person can buy it. However, business loans are invented to aid people in such kind of situations.
Posted by: GreerMerle | February 01, 2011 at 01:50 AM
Now that it's quiet, it feels good. Both Ed and I can feel the tired seeping out of our bones. It may take the rest of this day for the seeping process to complete itself. Moving is lots of work. However, we approached this packing stuff the same way we approach every dream and project: tail over tea-kettle...in other words, dive in head first and don't look back, or come up for air, until we're done...
Posted by: True Religion Outlet | July 19, 2011 at 10:59 AM