How Ego Hurts You (& How to Overcome It)

"As we have seen, having--the concept of ownership--is a fiction created by ego to give itself solidity and permanency and make itself stand out, make itself special.  Since you cannot find yourself through having, however, there is another more powerful drive underneath it that pertains to the structure of the ego: the need for more, which we could also call 'wanting.' No ego can last for long without the need for more." ~ Eckhart Tolle

How many of your financial decisions are made consciously?  If you believe you make conscious decisions with your money, how do you know they are conscious?

It is difficult to think about money honestly and objectively because it is difficult to observe the ego honestly and objectively. The simple act of thinking is not consciousness; it is a function of ego, which is the antithesis of consciousness.

In other words, if you are thinking of money, whether it is investing, saving, budgeting, or something as simple as buying groceries, ego is the “inner voice” that you hear; it is giving you the rationale for your financial behavior.

What does this mean and why does it matter? The short answer, from a financial perspective, is that ego costs you money! The longer answer, which I will touch upon in this and in future posts, is that ego can take you farther away from your authentic self and cause harm in all areas of life, not just financial.

"Illusions commend themselves to us because they save us pain and allow us to enjoy pleasure instead. We must therefore accept it without complaint when they sometimes collide with a bit of reality against which they are dashed to pieces." ~ Sigmund Freud

Ego is an illusionist. If you are aware of an illusion, it ceases to be an illusion. It is not until one begins to think about thinking—when the observer and the observed are the same (you)—that the ego is revealed and the illusion dissolves.

In other words, ego and awareness cannot co-exist; therefore only self-awareness is required to minimize or remove the negative potential of ego.

To aid in your awareness, consider some of the things and some of the results that the ego wants and how it can hurt you:

• Ego wants to be heard: It is the inner voice that chatters endlessly in your mind.
• Ego wants safety: With regard to money, ego creates anxiety: The stock market is falling! What will I do? What will happen to my money? Where should I invest now? How do I save more money? The value of my home is lower! My net worth is the lowest it's been in a decade!
• Ego lives in physical reality: It does not know that the answers are inside so it seeks them outside. Self-worth, to the ego, is defined in physical terms: How much money do I have? How big is my house? What do others think?
• Ego wants to thrive and survive: It consumes messages that give it energy; it looks for information that confirms its biases (i.e. If the bias is toward rising stock prices, ego wants information supporting rising stock prices and ignores information supporting falling stock prices).
• Ego wants to compete: It wants to win; it wants to make more money than your neighbor; it wants to climb the corporate ladder; it wants your physical appearance to be more attractive than others; it wants to be right; and it wants to prove others wrong.
• Ego is envious: And the result is to seek and possess more money, material wealth and social status, which are all perceived by the ego as integral and necessary units of survival.
• Ego rationalizes: Success confirms that “I am right” and failure is perceived as a fluke.
• Ego is becoming: The ego is always on its way to something; to be somebody, to be something or to be somewhere else. If happiness is obtained, happiness stretches to a larger size so that its pursuit is continued and the survival of ego is ensured. There is no such thing as “good enough.” To be “nobody” is simply unacceptable. Ego lives in the future; it cannot live in the present moment.  Because ego is always becoming, it is never Being.

Take another look at any of the previous points and imagine how much ego costs you (in monetary terms and in life): Investment losses, unnecessary purchases, career choices, personal relationships, and so on.

"See if you can catch, that is to say, notice, the voice in the head, perhaps in the very moment it complains about something, and recognize it for what it is: the voice of the ego, no more than a conditioned mind-pattern, a thought.  Whenever you notice that voice, you will also realize that you are not the voice, but the one who is aware of it." ~ Eckhart Tolle

With less care for identity; less care for comparing, competing, winning, you are able to stop ego from its damaging tendencies. When you are aware of the ego, you are enabled to stop the noise of inner turbulence and find peace. The chatter in your mind ends; the need to compare and categorize ends; the worry and concern over what is ends. You accept things for how they are; you are no longer becoming, you are Being.  Zen Buddhists call this enlightenment.

Awareness minimizes the negative effects of ego; awareness dissolves the illusion that ego presents.  The ego, however, is a natural function of human survival; therefore, it is not healthy to fight or deny the ego; and it is not necessary to be a PhD in psychology to counter it; simply be aware of it and ego can be overcome. 

Have you recognized how ego can be harmful? How much do you think ego has cost you, both in financial and non-financial terms? In what ways have you been successful (or not) in minimizing the negative potential of ego? 

If you choose to make a comment, see if you can do it without ego...

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Related Posts:

When is Illusion Good?

Mind vs Brain Part I: We Are Only Human

Related Book:

A New Earth: Awakening to Your Life's Purpose, by Eckhart Tolle

Comments

[Kent @ The Financial Philosopher]

For those of you who are investment traders, I have written a post similar to this one with focus on self-awareness as a trader and how it pertains to ego.

The post is at The Big Picture. Here's the link:

http://www.ritholtz.com/blog/2010/07/ego-illusionist-traders-nemesis/

Cheers...

Kent

[liah]

Delightful.

[Charles Faulkner]

Kent,

As our discussion is getting a bit apart from the usual readers of Barry's blog, I decided to respond to you here. In fact, I was going to offer that Heidegger quote on language, but thought it was too intellectual. You show it's not so. I am glad to be led to your site.

[Kent @ The Financial Philosopher]

Charles:

I'm glad to be led to your site as well. I'll read more of it tomorrow.

As for the thought of being too intellectual, I am reminded of Nietzsche who was vastly misunderstood. He humorously dismissed those who misunderstood him because he was not writing for them.

I have blogging friends who have told me that I use too many words and should make my thoughts more easily understood. I do not intend to appear arrogant but I simply ask "Why?" and there never is a satisfactory answer!

Readers are more intellectual than the mainstream gives credit. If they are not intellectual, then let them learn.

I look forward to more discussion some other time...

Kent

[GregLinster]

Hey Kent!

Ego is ubiquitous; I'm not sure if one can fully transcend it to a purely observant view void of attachment. Also, I'm not sure I could quantify what ego has cost me monetarily or spiritually for this very reason.

"The only true wisdom is in knowing you know nothing.” - Socrates

Cheers,
Greg

[Kent @ The Financial Philosopher]

Good points Greg.

I believe the attempt to "fully transcend" ego may be nearly as self-defeating as completely living within ego's grasp.

As another TFP reader has said, the attempt to overcome ego, paradoxically, can be an "ego trip" in itself.

I like the philosophical idea of "thinking about thinking." In the realm of personal finance, this is accomplished by virtue of making conscious choices with money.

Make money a tool; otherwise your life may become a tool for money....

[Julie Soforenko]

This post really hits a soft spot to me these days. As one who is often trapped in a whirlwind of internal monologue, I've been focusing more closely on developing a yoga practice. I've been surprised by how much calmer and happier I've been in just the 3 weeks since I started practicing at least 4 times a week.

Yoga is not just the poses, but also the breath, the meditation, and mental clearness (clarity, but this word has a different connotation than just the state of being clear). It is a process that moves a person towards the goal of consciousness over ego. The poses (asanas) occupy all the yogi's attention so there is no space left for the ego's chatter. If you pay attention to the chatter, you're likely to fall over (literally... and figuratively?) Taking that mental clearness off the mat with you is the next level of the practice.

Money is so integrally linked with our lives and our ego's beliefs about safety, both physically and emotionally. Many people not only want material things for themselves, but also buy things to try and make others want to be with us, trying to attain relationships and emotional happiness in this way.

The challenging process of moving towards consciousness can help minimize our overspending for both of these categories. And then we can approach true happiness (contentment).

[Kent @ The Financial Philosopher]

Julie:

Thanks so much for sharing your Yoga experience. I don't know much about Yoga; but the breathing exercises, which some might call meditation, are something I practice on a small but daily level.

Breathing is not something that requires thought; it a happens "automatically" -- it is "unconscious." Breathing consciously, however, has the effect of returning one to consciousness; it reminds one that they are living and it quietens the "thinker" that creates the chatter of ego.

It sounds "new age" or "Zen" to many people and they tend to resist meditative exercises because they seem to be too alternative. Breathing exercises actually go back thousands of years.

I like Krishnamurti's ideas of meditation, which revolve around a central idea that no one really needs a teacher or a "guru:" Meditation is simply consciousness or mindfulness; it is living...

"Meditation is not something that you do. Meditation is a movement into the whole question of our living: how we live, how we behave, whether we have fears, anxieties, sorrows; whether we are everlastingly pursuing pleasure; and whether we have built images about ourselves and about others. This is all part of our life, and in the understanding of that life and the various issues involved in life, and actually being free from them, we inquire into meditation." ~ Jiddu Krishnamurti

[Concojones]

The previous poster is a spammer. Check all your previous posts, Kent...

[Kent @ The Financial Philosopher]

Concojones:

Thanks for the heads up. I deleted the comments from the spammer...

Kent